Letters of the church of burgertime
The MAD DASH Technique, being a LETTER FROM DEMI-GOD and CARDINAL BISHOP of the 27 suburbicarian levels, J.D. LOWE, of the church of burgertime, Galloway, OHIO Parish.


The MAD DASH Technique:

January 30, 2002

Dear fellow communers of The Church of Burger Time:

I have been asked many times by parishioners of the Church of Burger Time if I, J.D. Lowe, cheat. If, during normal activity with our Lord Pepper, I call upon the demons of cheatdom to give the Chef an ungodly speed. But, I say to thee, NAY!

In the "real world", when you wish to run down a path, do you step one step a second? I think not. That would defeat the purpose of running, when all you are doing is going at a normal pace. Why should this apply to Peter Pepper?

Peter is blessed with walking faster than one step a second, though; he can move between seven and nine steps a second. Fast for mere mortals, but slow for our Lord and Saviour. In fact, in the later realms of the Burger Time universe, the demons move at a pace of ten steps a second, or more! Why should they have this advantage?

In the "real world", you would pick up your pace. You would actually move your feet faster than you would in a casual walk. This concept applies to Burger Time as well. If you can make Chef move faster than normal, then he will run too. To do this is simple. If you are using Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator, then it is simple; on an arcade machine, it may be more difficult. To do what I have coined the "Mad Dash" technique, simply press the direction you wish to go faster than nine times a second. This takes plenty of practice, because the timing can be tricky. This will make Chef run!

But you ask, why does it only work on ladders, going up and down? Well, can you run very fast by only moving sideways? Can you run a 100m dash by skipping? I think not. Same for Lord Pepper. Although he is facing the direction he wishes to go, he can not move fast side to side.

Now, go, fellow Burger Time lovers! Use this newfound information to your advantage! And I'll meet you on Level 27.

- J.D. Lowe a.k.a. Jedi Drunken Llama


A note from pontifex maximus
J.D. Lowe is the undisputed king of Burgertime. He has a strategy guide on C. Montana's excellent Unofficial Burgertime Home page on the strategy page. You can check it out at http://burgertime.cjb.net/. Click the strategies link.


The Churches and Letters


DAVE, RABBINICAL KOSHERIAS

BRIAN, HUNCHBACKED MINION

SHEKKYTHE BASTARD

COMMANDER CASEY

REVEREND SERGI

ECHO the WONDERTUBE
The MAD DASH Technique, J.D. Lowe LITTERÆ ECCLESIASTICÆ of church SISTER LAURA FOLK, MASSACHUSETTS PARISH. "BURGERTIME", A POEM by TYLER N. NIX
BEING THE LEGO© LOGO
PASTOR POOTIE BEING THE CHURCH HOME PAGE, Tokyo, Japan

Why PONTIFEX MAXIMUS?

back to the church of burgertime